I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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