went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
