end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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