I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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