I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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