Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
