Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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