She's JV to your varsity
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
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