oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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