Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
