Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
