sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Randomize
