Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
