All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
