haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
