weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
