Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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