I never want to see another naked old woman again.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
