Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
