I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize