Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
