gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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