i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
