you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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