Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
