You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
