I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
