Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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