but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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