I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
