last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
