She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i wish my penis had a tongue
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
