can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
