you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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