you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
We were destined to go to rehab together
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
