i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
