Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
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