Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
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