new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
