So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
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I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
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And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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