went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
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well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
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He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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