$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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