This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
