how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Watching her eat just hurts me
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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