Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
