I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize