I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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