apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
