You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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