I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Randomize
