I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
