think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
