Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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