I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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