Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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