You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I need a burrito and a hug.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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