Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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