if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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