worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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