Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
