I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
