so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
