ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Randomize