Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
