Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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