If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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